Night Watch: A T&S Fanfic

Chapter 10, Part 1- When your love (Lindsey)

Sun, 09 Sep 2012 19:00:01 -0400

*BEEEEEEEEEEP*

The sound of the alarm vibrating off the nightstand shook me out of my dreams and into reality. With a groan, I turned it off and attempted to pry my eyes open. It was 7 a.m. and I had officially only slept for three hours. Between dropping Sara off and making sure she was okay to taking Tegan to the emergency room, time had vanished before my eyes. I turned over in bed carefully and laughed at the bundle of blankets that held my girlfriend captive. The comforter was completely covering every inch of her body except for the few wisps of long hair that stuck out on top. I played with a few wisps, enjoying the soft texture between my fingers. I knew it would only be a matter of weeks before she finally decided to cut it. I figured she was keeping it long to make me happy, but I really didn’t care what she did with. I loved it and her regardless.

Holding back a yawn, I resolved myself to peel back the covers and catch a glimpse of the damage underneath. Thankfully our long and taxing trip to the ER was rewarded with no necessary major medical treatment. Her nose was broken, but it wasn’t displaced or in need of surgery and further care. After a few hours I was sent home with pain medication, ice packs, and a miserable, angry girlfriend. The real trauma was hearing Tegan bitch for hours on end until I finally threw away her “sick/injured” card and made her go to bed. Now I wish I had done that sooner.

As soon as I took in her face, I couldn’t help but cringe. She had dark, purple bruises under and around her eyes and nose. I wasn’t sure who was going to suffer more when she finally looked in the mirror. Me or her.

Eventually the familiar pangs of worry and concern filtered through me. I hated to see her hurting, even if her attitude about it drove me crazy. Seeing her on the grass and losing that much blood really scared me. In my heart, I knew normal, sane Sara would never let something like that happen or go that far. But the Sara that was around lately was too unpredictable to make that assumption.

After a few minutes of wishing I could go back to bed, I decided to wake up my sleeping beauty. This was not going to be pretty.

“Hey baby…” I said quietly, rubbing the side of her arm tenderly. She slowly stirred at my touch but she would just as easily fall back asleep if I didn’t keep it up.

“Tegan..time to get up.” I said louder, watching her eyelids flutter around until they opened. She smiled at my presence but her expression became pained quickly.

“Ow, fuck!” she cursed, the muscles used for smiling making her face hurt. “My face feels like I was hit by a truck..or two.” She groaned, pressing a hand on her nose and wincing in response.

“It doesn’t look that bad..” I trailed off, realizing how unconvincing that was. From the look on her face, I knew she agreed.

“Then why can’t you stand to look at me for longer than a second?” She asked, not waiting for an answer. “I knew it..I look like a raccoon don’t I? Fuck!” she cursed again, before jumping out of bed and walking into the attached bathroom. I didn’t even get a second to admire her beautiful figure before I was treated to a slammed door and a loud shriek.

“Oh my fucking God. I am going to KILL her. My face is so fucked up! Lindsey, what the fuck!”

“Don’t blame me sweetie, I’m not the one who decided to get drunk and pick a fight with my sister. A sister I might add, who has a great accidental right hook.” I moved towards the edge of the bed, swinging my feet over and onto the floor. I stretched and finally let out a yawn, the comfort of my bed trying to reel me in.

“Yeah right.” She said through the door. “She got lucky because your voice distracted me. You better not take ANY pictures until this looks better either. I mean it! Fuck. How the hell am I supposed to show my face like this?”

“Hmm, I don’t know babe..I think this might be an improvement” I said wrly, hoping humor would lighten the mood. I wasn’t ready for all this shouting this early. At least not before I had a few cups of coffee.

When I didn’t get a sarcastic retort back, I started to worry.

“Tee, are you okay?” I questioned, inching off the bed.

With a jerky swing, she opened the door and leaned against the door frame with a pout. My eyes met hers, but only after admiring her smooth legs under her oversized band shirt, the one that still managed to cling to her curves despite its size. When I finally looked up she still looked upset, but her smirk was obvious.

“Stop trying to make me seem attractive. I look like I lost a fight with Muhammad Ali. There’s nothing sexy about two black eyes and a swollen nose.” She said, although I knew she thought she looked sexy in anything. The confidence she had with her body always inspired me to have more about my own. It wasn’t easy at first, but when someone keeps telling you’re beautiful every day, you start to believe them eventually.

“Nothing sexy about it, huh? Then why do I feel like jumping you right in the doorway?” I asked innocently, uncrossing my legs and leaning back on my hands.

Tegan didn’t say anything but proceeded to beeline to the bed. She pushed me down carefully and straddled me, pretending that I was at her mercy. I giggled at her forcefulness, and leaned back on my elbows to adjust to her position. I rose up to kiss her and was rewarded with a muffled groan of pain. She immediately pulled back forcing me to grab her thighs so she didn’t fall off the bed.

“Fuck my life. It even hurts to kiss you.” she complained, arching away from me. I was eye-level with her chest, making it hard for me to focus on anything else. I just wanted to rip off her shirt and reveal what was underneath.

“That’s okay babe, I know something I can do that doesn’t involve your face.” I whispered, holding onto her hips and flipping her over. Enjoying my position on top, I turned my attention to her shoulder, kissing her gently so I didn’t bump her face. She shuddered under my attentions, her hands rubbing circles against my sides.

I started leading a trail of kisses on her chest, moving lower and lower until I found the spot I wanted. Just when I finally found a way to cheer my injured girlfriend up, the phone rang.

“Ugh, don’t get it.” Tegan whispered, her hands already gripping the bedsheet tightly. As much as I wanted to continue, I was afraid to let the phone ring. After what has been transpiring these last few weeks, I didn’t want to ignore a potential emergency.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be right back” I said before getting off the bed and striding into the living room.

“I thought you were trying to make me feel better?!” Tegan shouted from the bedroom, but I had already picked up the phone to answer.

“Hello?” I asked, afraid of who would be calling this early. Was it Emy with a restraining order against us? Was it Tegan’s mom who somehow found out what was going and was wondering how her adult children managed to end up in this situation? Sarah with a restraining order against us?

“Hey Lindsey..it’s Sara.”

“Hey Sara!. Uh..how’s it going, are you okay?”

“I’m…okay. How’s Tegan?”

“She’s been better. Her nose is broken and she has some bruising and swelling, but nothing she needed major treatment for. She’ll just need some extra TLC for the next few days”

“And I’m sure you are more than up for the job.” Sara replied. I could tell she was trying to normal when she clearly wasn’t.

“I don’t know, I don’t think I’m doing a great job of it right now.” I responded.

“I don’t think I want to know, do I?”

“Probably not” I laughed.

“Well, I just wanted to let you know that I’m not feeling well and I’m going to skip out on the studio today.”

I glanced into the bedroom and continued the conversation.

“Sara, I don’t want to pry, but you sound really upset. And I don’t want you held up in your apartment all day while you mentally exhaust yourself. I’m worried. Tegan’s worried ̶̶ ”

“Yeah, I’m sure Tegan’s real concern is of me right now. Not the fact that I embarrassed myself on stage in front of everyone,and then sent her home with a broken nose. I think we both know Tegan better than that” She replied, the self-hatred evident in her voice.

“Tegan may be hurting right now, in more ways than one, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care about or love you.”

“I’m sorry Lindsey, I’m just really upset with myself right now,and I don’t have enough energy to deal with Tegan or anyone else right now. I feel terrible and having to look at Tegan’s bruised face and listen to her say all the mean things I deserve to hear isn’t what I need right now. I just need a break. Even if I don’t deserve it.”

“I understand…but if you need anything, you better call me! I’ll drive over as quick as I can. I’ll even leave Tegan stranded if that’s what you want.”

“I’m pretty sure I’ll be owing Tegan for the next few years, so I don’t think stranding her is the way to go.”

“You’re probably right.’

“Alright, I’m still tired, so I’m going to go back to bed.”

“Okay Sara, take care.”

“Thanks Lindsey, really.”

*click*

With a sigh, I put down the phone and made my way back into the bedroom.

I heard the familiar sound of the shower running which made me roll my eyes. Tegan hated waiting, even if it was for morning sex.

I stripped quickly and climbed in, kissing the back of Tegan’s shoulder.

“Who was that?” Tegan asked, although her tone inflicted she already knew.

“Sara. She said she’s not coming into the studio today, she’s not up to it.”

“Are you serious? I’m the one with the fucked up face, and I’m still going in. I know why, she doesn’t want to apologize to me. Not that I would even take it.”

“She’s in pain too, babe. Just not on the outside.”

“You know what. I’m sick of talking about Sara and her problems all the time. Can we return the focus back on me, your poor bruised, injured girlfriend?” She pleaded, washing the last bit of shampoo out of her hair.

I turned her around and watched the water cascade down her body. I was ready to return back to our previous engagements, but I also wanted to keep teasing her.

“And if I don’t want to?” I asked, my hands wandering down her sides causing her to lean back against the shower wall. I silently thanked the previous owners who invested in such a large shower. Definitely came in handy.

“Then I’ll tell everyone you did this to me” she said quickly, her final words ending in a soft moan as I kissed her neck. She was really sensitive there and I always used that to my advantage.

“If you do…” I trailed off, my words vibrating against her skin.

“Then I’ll stop doing this.” I finished, feeling her body shudder underneath me.

“….Nevermind” she quickly agreed.

So

Sun, 09 Sep 2012 09:27:35 -0400

I guess you guys really liked my last chapter? ^_^

In that case, I have some good news for you all.

I was surprisingly productive yesterday and managed to write a new, super long chapter. It’s also full of Tegan and Lindsey goodness!! And perhaps a little sexy time tease. ^_^

If I get some more asks (I only have two!), perhaps I will post it later today?! I’ll leave that up to you readers.

Come’ on, don’t be shy!

** Also, I managed to catch up on some fanfics and I sent some asks! Unfortunately tumblr ask boxes don’t like me and often eat them despite my best intentions and often continuous sending. In that case, I would like to just say that I love everyone’s story, and keep up the great work. So much drama, so much inner turmoil…so much feels!

~Kayla

Chapter 9, Part 4- In the end (Sara)

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 08:00:40 -0400

With every step, the heaviness in my heart became an unbearable weight. The further away I got from the madness of the past few minutes, the more time I had to reflect on what I did. The only thing I could compare it to was an out of body experience. I could “see” myself exposing everything to the crowd but I had no way to stop it. I could only watch as I tried my hardest to hurt Emy as hard as she hurt me. Every thought in that moment was of Emy, and her words and that damn ring box. Suddenly the image of our future I had started to imagine became one without me in it…and I reacted as only an insane person would do. Fuck.

I was so transfixed in my thoughts that I had no idea where I was when I finally stopped. After a few seconds, I realized I was in the open field that overlooked the parking lot to the R&R offices. I stood there wishing I was able to hop in my own vehicle and just drive away forever.

I was so distracted that I didn’t even see the blur behind me until I was suddenly face-up on the ground.

“Are you INSANE?!” Tegan shouted at the top of her lungs while towering over me.

Any feelings of quiet reflection were immediately disrupted from this physical ambush. I knew I was at fault for what happened tonight but I really didn’t need Tegan throwing it in my face too.

“Tegan…” I started, jumping up from the ground and meeting her head-on.

“What the actual fuck is wrong with you?” she shouted again. “Do you have any idea what you just did? In front of all our friends…Emy’s parents…Sarah?! You are the cause of all your problems, you know that?”

“Shut up Tegan.” I retorted lamely.

“In fact, I don’t even think you are really in love with Emy, I think you’re in love with the idea of bringing people down to your own miserable level. And me and the rest of the band aren’t enough to do that with. You hurt people, that’s what you do.”

“Fuck you.” I growled, her words stabbing me like a knife. I couldn’t believe she was actually saying this to me.

“No, fuck you Sara. I’m not going to keep taking it. If the pressure of this band is too much for your emotional state…” She trailed off, the threat in her tone egging me on.

“What Tegan?” I asked, taking a step closer. “Finish your sentence. Then I can’t what, be in the band anymore? You know what Tegan…it must be pretty hard to see what the hell I’m doing from all the way up there on your high horse.” I finished, watching her reaction when the tables were turned. The truth can hurt both ways.

“What the hell are you talking about?” she said, clearly not ready to be on the defense.. Good, I thought, let her get a taste of her own medicine.

“You can be so judgmental sometimes, it makes me sick. I’m sorry the rest of the human population doesn’t have their shit together like Tegan Rain Quin. All hail Mrs. Perfect life.”

“What are yo-”

“I think it’s so great that you went through all that bullshit with Lindsey and came out other side. I’m glad everything in your life happens to work out just the way you want it. Well, guess what? That’s not real life. People don’t always get their happy fucking endings. Maybe if your head wasn’t so far up Lindsey’s ass, you would know that.” I spit out, watching the anger on her face turn into hurt. I knew I should stop but the words kept trailing out. I needed someone else to be hurting, not just me all the time. Even if that meant hurting my sister.

“In fact, where is your better half? I’m surprised we can even hold a conversation without her presence. Do you have permission to speak with me right now?”

“Shut the fuck up about Lindsey.” Tegan said shakily, her mind still reeling from my poisonous words.

“She has done nothing to you, in fact, she’s the one who keeps telling me to give you a break. And look at what happens when I listen to her? You completely fuck up an semblance of a working relationship we had with Sarah and Emy..and hey, also isolated our friendships WITH EVERYONE ELSE. Congradu-fucking-lations Sara. Only you can fuck up that royally for everyone else.”

We stood at a standstill. As I narrowed my gaze, I noticed her inability to stand still. The jerkiness of her movements and the severity of her word sall started to make sense. I knew that familiar sight all too well.

“Are you drunk?!” I asked harshly, although I already knew the answer. I had no doubt her words were a reflection of her true thoughts in this moment, but also knew she never would have voiced them otherwise. Regardless of her liquid handicap, I wasn’t going to let her go that easily.

“You have no idea what I am going through right now, Tegan. You think your early problems with Lindsey compare? Don’t pretend to know my fucking experience.”

“Please enlighten me then? Maybe I wouldn’t pretend to know if you didn’t keep including me in your “fucking” experience. You wreck everything, and as always, I’m the one who has to clean up the mess. Your 31 years old, grow the fuck up.”

I stood there in shock for what felt like the millionth time that night.

Finally everything that was building up inside stopped threatening to burst and actually did. I was sick of talking about my feelings. I need a physical release.

Without another word, I charged into her, knocking us both into the floor. As soon as we toppled over, I was slightly taken back by my actions. But as soon as Tegan flipped me over and shoved me into the ground, instinct took over. After a few kicks and shoves, Tegan had me pinned to the ground while I was struggling to break free.

“TEGAN!” came a shout from close-by.

Tegan was temporarily distracted by the voice and I saw my only chance. I swung my arm out from under her wildly and smashed it right into her nose. The sickening snap of her nose against my knuckles pounded in my ears.

“Tegan” came the shout again, this time easily connected by Lindsey’s form approaching us. Tegan immediately clutched her nose, allowing me to roll out from under her.

“You fucker” she cursed, the sound muffled under the pressing of her hands. I could see droplets of blood escaping her hold which instantly made me queasy. I clutched my wrist to my chest, the throbbing pain allowing me to realize what I had just done. My immediate reaction to Tegan telling me to grow up…was to get into a physical fight with her. What the fuck is wrong with me?

“Oh my God!” Lindsey shouted, immediately surveying the scene. Tegan was sprawled on her back, both hands covering the mess that was her newly deformed face. She looked like she could appear on the next episode of Grey’s Anatomy. I turned away and flexed my knuckles, the pain allowing me to check out of the situation.

Seeing that her girlfriend needed the most immediate attention, Lindsey ran over to assess the damage. She was bleeding pretty heavily which was only stopped when Lindsey took off her jacket to apply pressure. Tegan was shooting daggers in my direction which made the tears leaking out of her eyes that more visible.

“Fuck” she cursed again, trying to get up from the ground but failing.

“Babe, stop moving! You’re going to make it worse. What the hell happened here?!”

Lindsey bravely removed the jacket from Tegan’s face to get a look at the damage I left on her face. I just stared as she visibly winced and put it back on quickly.

“I have to run back and grab my keys to take you to the ER but I don’t want to leave you here…” she trailed off, making an effort not to look at me directly. I appreciated her efforts.

Making sure Tegan wasn’t going to choke on her own blood or try to stand up again, Lindsey turned to me slowly.

“Sara, are you okay?” She asked. Her voice sounded sincere but her actions resembled more of a person trying to approach an escaped lion.

“Don’t ask her if she’s fucking okay, she just punched me in the face.” Tegan shouted from under the fabric of the jacket.

Lindsey stood up quickly and put her hands on her hip.

“What the fuck is going on with you two? I just burned all the calories I ate this year trying to chase you guys down. And now I have a catatonic Sara who just called out Emy in front of..basically everyone, and a girlfriend who might need rhinoplasty and not for vanity sake.

“What?!” Tegan exclaimed, her eyes downcasted although I could tell she was too afraid to remove the jacket.

Lindsey looked like she was about to lie and reassure her but another person quickly joined our “party” before she could get the chance.

Emy.

“Oh my God, you two ̶̶̶ Tegan are you bleeding?!” Emy asked, shocked at Tegan’s pitiful form. I continued to sit there like a rag doll.

“I just walked into this too.” Lindsey stated, giving Emy an apologetic shrug and a disapproving glare to both of us.

“I came to tell you guys you should probably go. The crowd back there isn’t too happy right now..” she trailed off, half apologetic, half angry.

Could I blame her?

Could I blame me?

Emy handed Lindsey’s purse to her and turned to face me. I could tell she was trying to communicate something silently but I had no intention of trying to figure it out. She already physically and mentally exhausted me. I didn’t dare try to read into anything she might be feeling or thinking. I already fell for that once.

“I’ll call you later Linds…” Emy said finally, her eyes still on my face. I watched her turn away and jog back the way she came.

“Come on, you two!” Lindsey said firmly, reprimanding her childish friend and girlfriend.

She threw her right arm under Tegan’s shoulders and lifted her up quickly. Tegan leaned heavily on Lindsey, her ability to stand even worse than before. One arm was iron-gripped on her girlfriend and the other was holding the jacket in place. They started to walk in the direction of the parking lot and I quietly followed. I was unable to find any words to say in this situation.

Eventually I buckled myself in and gazed out the window at the fading Revel and Riot offices. Not even the sound of Tegan’s groans of pain or Lindsey’s beginning lecture were able to pull me away from the burning image of what I was leaving behind. I was leaving my last chance at happiness.

I felt empty for the first time that night. And I couldn’t even rifle up an emotion to say how I felt about that.

I am on the east coast. its after midnight. Meaning morning

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 00:29:33 -0400

Touché. Clearly my sleep deprivation is finally settling in. I bid you both a good morning and good night in that case. =]

It is morning here now

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 00:22:27 -0400

Seriously?! Oh man, it’s times like this that I appreciate the East Coast.

ALL THE SLEEPS RIGHT NOW! zZZZZZZ

it's been so long since you post last chapter ;( and i'm dying here because i'm so curious of what happen. i hope that Emy will still love Sara.

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 00:14:01 -0400

Sidenote: This is the final ask, and I am up WAY WAY past my bedtime. I have to get up in 6 hours, EEP! But it was worth it to get through all your asks. Thanks for filling up my ask box everyone. Keep it up!

**Don’t die Anon! Curiosity kills cats, not my precious readers! I hear your hopes loud and clear..but will they be delivered? =X

OMYGOSH! what is sara doing! i cant wait to read her part of the story! i need to know what happened after with her and emy!

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 00:09:55 -0400

Right?! I wrote the chapter..and I was all like “What did I just do.” but then I posted it..and THE DEED WAS DONE! Sara’s POV is coming up tomorrow, although I don’t think it will be what you are expecting. ^_^

wheeeeeeeeereeeeeeeee areeeeee youuuuuuu !!!?!?!?!? i miss you when you're not posting !

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 00:07:35 -0400

IIIII’MMMMM RIGHTTTTT HEREEEEEEEE.

I would say that I miss you too..but you are a grey-faced Anon, and I’m afraid to miss someone I can’t see!

Instead I will say that I hope while you continue to miss me, you won’t miss the new chapter tomorrow morning. =D It’s a good one. I hope!

Hey :D loving the fic! I was just wondering if you could put the chapters up on your "Just The Chapters" bit, it's just I've bookmarked that page :))

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 00:05:31 -0400

Please look upon the “Just the Chapters” tab..which I have now updated. Enjoy! ^_^ Sorry for the slacking!

jeez this is the best chapter ever ! i can't wait to read more ! please, please put new chapter in next day or two. i'm so anxious. i can't wait any longer.

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 00:05:08 -0400

Yay! Read more, read more…tomorrow morning!

Don’t get ANXIOUSSSSSS

Just wanted to let you know that your fanfics are truly amazing. I'm so into it, sometimes I just can't even. I'm trying my best to wait (im)patiently for the next chapter :)

Wed, 05 Sep 2012 00:01:22 -0400

I’m so into you thinking that! Thanks! I hope you find the ability to CAN even and enjoy the new chapter tomorrow. ^_^

wow so much drama! You are so good! And so cruel for leaving us hanging like this ;)

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 23:56:00 -0400

I can be a cruel, cruel writer, this is true. I like to blame it on living in the big apple with so many dramatic outlets to draw from. Or maybe the many, many dramatic experiences I have had with love. Or perhaps I just like being a writing tease! =]

It’s hard to tell.

Lovin the large chapter. I am super glad you didn't split it in two. I am curious now about the sound check in the uk--cole

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 23:51:49 -0400

Thanks Cole! I was this close to splitting it but I felt so guilty for my late postings, I had to deliver it as is. Glad it was a good decision on my part. Perhaps the sound check can be a one-shot. Lotttsss of potential there. =P

NOOOOOOOO!!! A FEMOTION MONSTER IS TRYING TO STRANGLE ME RIGHT NOW! OH MY GOSH SARA, YOU FOOL.

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 23:48:49 -0400

AHHHHH! RUN AWAY!!!!

Sara is foolish for sure. And I’m afraid there is more foolishness to come. Stay tuned!

How many chapters are you thinking about doing?

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 23:44:08 -0400

JK. Let me see. I feel like I have built a pretty broad spectrum for this story to continue on longer. Lindsey & Tegan’s babymaking plotline, Sara’s shipwreck of a romantic life…random one-shots or comic relief…the list goes on. So as long as I don’t hit an unplanned mental dead end I plan on continuing.

..oh and as long as you guys keep wanting more!

I'm shocked, this last chapter was just...I don't even have a word to describe

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 23:28:10 -0400

Hopefully when you found the word…it was followed by positive dog barks!

Holy shit. First of all: thanks soooooo muhc for the long chapter, 2: I just LOVE drunk Tegan, 3: Damn, Sara's got some back bone and last but not least 4: WHENS THE NEXT CHAPTER SO I CAN CLEAR MY SCHEDULE JUST TO READ IT OMG

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 23:14:20 -0400

Hmm, I am fan of your numbered ask, dear anon.

1. Drunk Tegan is fun to write! Glad you enjoyed it. More of her to come!

2. Sara is gutsy for sure. Dramatic brokenhearted speeches require ovaries of steel.

3. THE NEXT CHAPTER IS TOMORROW MORNING!

oh, and you’re welcome!

Amazin. So perfect. Omigod this is like the best fanfic ever.

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 23:09:07 -0400

Kind words are kind. Thank you! Hopefully I continue to be in such high ranks.

i can't believe it. I just, I just can't put my emotions into words.. this chapter kept my mouth opened thought its entirety! my heart dropped with every word. I am still recovering.

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 23:07:48 -0400

You are sweet. ^_^ I also appear to have spun you in my femotion tornado of a fanfic. You were warned! I hope recovery was swift and if not, can be cured via a new chapter tomorrow. Although…

the tornado may strike again!

not fair, that ending killed me! please update soon!

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 23:02:46 -0400

Ahh, I hope it was a temporary killing! Update tomorrow!